Birth Mom Scams
It seems most of the adoption birth mom scams (potential birth moms not really placing babies) have had several of the following warning signs. Just because one of these signs exist does NOT mean it is a scam. Just be careful and be wise. Always use a licensed adoption agency, lawyer or facilitator. Check reference of any agency, attorney or facilitator as well. 
Please verify all facts given you by a prospective birth mom.

1. The birth mom wants money! Not all scammers want money. Some do it only for the attention. Only give money through a licensed attorney, agency or facilitator. Do not give money directly to a birth mother.

2. The birth mom has several crisis emergencies. Or drops hints that she needs money for food, rent, payments or needs but does not ask for money directly.

3. The birth mom wants to bring the baby TO you. Most real birth moms want you to come to them. This is used to get you to buy plane tickets for them that they can then cash in later. Many families have lost money by purchasing plane tickets. 

4. The birth mom is not available by phone or address is not verifiable. She only wants to call you. Always verify these with caller ID or at 411.com. You can verify addresses through the post office when asking for a zip code.

5. She misses or breaks several scheduled talks or meetings. Her reasons will always sound legit.

6. She does not send proof or pregnancy or other requested documents. She seems to always have a reason for not sending you identifying information. A sudden miscarriage or hospitalization when you ask for too much info.

7. She does not know who the birth father is. She does not want you to contact anyone else concerning her pregnancy. She will not give you real names or numbers of doctors.

8. She is unwilling to meet or talk to your attorney/agency.

9. She puts you off about  certain details. She is vague. Or she gets quiet when you talk about certain details like lawyers or signing away parental rights etc.

10. Her story has more than one version. She changes what she wants and needs in the adoption.

11. The baby is twins or a girl! Most often this is the case for many scammers.

Adoptive Parent Scams
It seems that birth moms also need to look for warning signs that adoptive parents may not be able to work with them or will not follow through with the agreed upon contact. I have heard from several birth moms who have had this happen. If you are a birth mom looking for a family for your child watch for these possible warning signs.

1.  A family that tells you how much contact they want after the birth then change it when you tell them it is different than you need.

2.  A family that makes demands rather than requests.

3.  A family that does not return your emails or phone calls.

4. A family that seems like they are desperate and will do anything to get your baby.

Adoptive families we need to be certain to care about the feeling and needs of birth mothers. These incredible woman give us gifts of life. Please be sensitive and caring about them not just the baby they carry. Also live up to word of what you agreed to after the adoption (pictures, visits, etc.). I have talked to many birth moms devastated because after the adoption the adoptive family stopped sending photos and letters or refused the visits. Please give you word and keep your word!